The Big Bang Theory, Howard’s Robotic Arm, s04e01

Ostrzeżenie dla wszystkich geeków i nerdów. Jak już zbudujecie robotyczne ramie dodajcie awaryjne „otwieranie”. W razie, gdyby robot miał gorszy dzień ;)

Przy okazji całkiem sporo angielskiego z hinduskim akcentem. Zapraszam J

Howard: Oh, God, that feels so good. Yeah, that's the spot. Oh, baby.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, dinner's ready!

Howard: I'll eat later. I'm busy! Oh, yeah. Just like a real hand. Hmmm…

Raj: You know, there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman.

Leonard: Yeah?

Raj: Where does he poop?

Leonard: What?

Raj: What would a toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Leonard: Hold that thought. Hey, Howard. What's going on? What? Hold on. Howard, Howard, slow down... The robot hand is stuck on your what? You're not going to believe this.

Raj You slipped and fell into a robot hand?

Howard Yes.

Raj: Penis first?

Howard Yes. Now, help me!

Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.

Howard: Not funny, Leonard.

Raj:  Really? A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk, dude. That's funny, ask anyone.

Howard:  Please before my mother walks in, get this off me!

Leonard:  Okay, let's see.

Howard:  No, no! Don't touch. The program is paused.

Leonard:  Well, then let's un-pause it.

Howard:  No, no! I loaded the wrong program. The hand thinks it's holding a screwdriver in outer space. If you continue the program, it's gonna start twisting.

Raj:  Ah, ah, All right. Hm, how about this. When-when Winnie the Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him and pulled and pulled.

Leonard:  You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.

Raj:  All right, uh, forget pulling. How about we get an electric saw and cut it off?

Howard:  What?! No saws! One circumcision was enough.

Leonard:  How about an acetylene torch?

Howard:  Okay, I can't believe this needs to be said out loud. No pulling, no saws, no torches.

Leonard:  Well, then what do you want us to do?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends!

Howard:  That's great, Mom, thanks!

Mrs. Wolowitz: I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch!

Howard:  Don't come up here!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Why not?! Are you ashamed of your mother?!

Howard:  Yes, but that's not the point! Get me out of here.

Leonard:  You have any ideas, Raj?

Raj:  Right now, all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Leonard:  Okay, come on. Almost there.

Howard:  Don't tug. No tugging.

Raj:  Next time, take your own advice.

Leonard:  Excuse me, could you help us out?

Nurse: My, my, my. What do we have here?

Howard:  I slipped and fell.

Nurse: Yeah, we get that a lot. What is this?

Howard:  It's a robot arm.

Nurse: Where's the rest of the robot?

Howard:  I only built the arm.

Nurse: 'Cause that's all you needed, right?

Howard:  Can you please just help me?!

Nurse: All right, all right. Hang on, stay calm. I need an orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.

Howard: You think you could be a little more discreet?

Nurse: I'm sorry, we don't have a code for "robot hand grasping a man's penis." Why is it hooked up to a computer?

Leonard:  Uh, it's what controls the arm.

Howard:  But it's frozen.

Nurse: Did you try turning it off and back on again?

Howard:  No, you see, it's more complicated than that. No, wait! Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Raj:  Now can we have cookies and Hawaiian Punch?

spot – tu: miejsce

to Wonder about sth – być czymś zaciekawionym, zaintrygowanym

to poop – tu: wulg. Srać, najfadać; gówno (słówko raczej mało przydatne ;0)

to flush – spłukiwać (np. toaletę)

to stick on sth – przyczepić się do czegoś

to slip – poślizgnąć się

he fell into a trap – wpadł w pułapkę, a tutaj w robotyczne ramię

fall on sth – upaść na coś

grip – chwyt, uścisk

to get off - zdjąć

to twist – skręcać, przekręcać

to grab onto sb – chwycić kogoś

circumcision - obrzezanie

torch – tu: palnik, ogólnie latarka, pochodnia

to tug – ciągnąć, szarpać

to grasp – chwytać, też rozumieć

discreet – tu: dyskretny

to hook up – połączyć urządzenia elektroniczne (albo coś na prąd)